Binge in the time of Corona - Kevin Smithology III

Kevin Smith made 8 good Kevin Smith movies, the essential View Askewniverse experience, which will bring some much-needed levity and calm to the quarantined, and one amazing horror thriller that will definitely not. This is part three in the series, the Confidence era, when Smith began wrangling big actors into his vision with studio funds because he knows he is bankable, instead of paying his friends Hollywood minimum wage for cameos.

Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)

What if Clerks was a porno? That question was answered in 2013 with Clerks XXX: A Porn Parody, a surprisingly well written and witty porn movie. 5 years before that Kevin smith provided his own answer to the question in this Judd Apatow RomCom wannabe. Zack and Miri are two losers looking to pay their bills by making a porno. They put together a sound stage, producer, actors, cameraman, sound man, and the stand out concept “Star Whores” for wide market appeal. The movie is a roadmap for a creator who is struck by the need to make films, even if they are just two people f*cking, and there’s even a happy ending of many kinds. So why did I start out calling it a Judd Apatow RomCom wannabe? Because that how Smith called it later. A Kevin Smith movie about making a porno should be dirty and sweet, human moments interspersed between WTF moments. Clerks had 37 dick and necrophilia, Mallrats had up to 50 counts of statutory rape (eww, but still, a definite WTF moment) Chasing Amy had Cunnilingus war stories, Clerks II had a donkey show, and this has pornstars, sex scenes, and its boring. The raciest things happening are a poop joke and a strap-on scene. This movie has sanded off all the Kevin Smith weird awesomeness that all that remains is a RomCom with all the shock value of a Red Show Diaries episode. Worth one watch, Seth Rogan has one memorable scene, and it’s fun to see Justin Long and Brandon Routh as a gay couple, It’s a more interesting superman movie than Superman Returns, and I like them together.

Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019)

The point of all of Smith’s 25 years career is finally here. For a long time, I felt that Kevin Smith was a promise to come that was never fulfilled, a voice for a generation without direction, and one day he will give his answer to all the questions and doubts that his work reflected. And I’d be stink-palmed, he did. In one scene that was not even planned when the movie started production, Smith gives an answer that is worth the watch alone. Leading up to the answer is a beautiful journey about parenthood through nostalgia while tackling modern issues. Jay and Silent Bob set out to Hollywood to stop the reboot of the Bluntman & Chronic movies after the producers gain the legal rights to their names. The movie takes shots at Hollywood remake and reboot culture with sharp wit and fresh humor. Smith returns to form as a writer with his daughter as the third lead and the anchor that elevates the movie to a masterpiece. If you do not shed a tear at her performance or at the closing scene then you might be missing a soul. A must-see for any fan of Kevin Smith’s previous work yet manages to stand alone for fresh comers to the View Askewniverse. As a Smith fan, I will rewatch this movie for years and even decades to come, smiling.

Red State (2011)

One ATF agent trying to keep a firefight between an armed Christian death cult and federal agents from becoming a bloodbath. The movie is gritty in a way that you would not believe Kevin Smith could be, delivering a story with no heroes, only people trying to survive each other as the blood and bodies begin to pile up. The poster reads “An unlikely movie from Kevin Smith” and could not put it better myself. Michael Parks gives a performance of a lifetime in a scene that ends with your new nightmare from now on. Just to illustrate the level of unexpected mastery of the art of making you sh*t yourself, Smith brought Kevin Pollok to appear in the movie because his face will let everyone know that everything will be fine, and 90 seconds later you will know that all bets are off. That is a level of Show Don’t tell you do not expect to from the king of monologues, but I required new pants, and so will you. Jay and Silent Bob do not come within the same universe as this movie with John Goodman, Steven Root and Michael Parks bring the claustrophobic violence to life in a way I haven’t seen since of No Country for Old Men.